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Irish Doctor Claims Smoking Marijuana Leads To Beards


Jerry GarciaBy Steve Elliott of Toke of the Town

From time to time, the drug warriors come up with a real gem of a reason why we should all come to our senses and just stop it, already, with this “using cannabis” nonsense. I mean, come ON. Despite whatever perceived benefits, medical or otherwise, is it worth the huge risks?

“What risks?” you may rightly be asking. “I thought it had been established that it was relatively benign, almost completely non-toxic, and certainly didn’t cause overdoses.” Well, yeah, hippie, those things may be true, but there are other horrors that perhaps you haven’t considered.

I mean the horror of facial hair.

Fortunately, we have the brave and intrepid Dr. Ruairi Hanley, an Irish physician who abundantly proves that Reefer Madness isn’t an exclusively American phenomenon.

Seems the good doctor, being concerned for all of us, don’t you know, believes that “for the sake of young people’s mental health, drug use must remain stigmatized and should never be legalized in Ireland.”

It seems the good Dr. Hanley knows lots and lots about marijuana, even though he’s never smoked any of it — seems that making snap judgments and stereotypes works just as well for this Irish imbecile.

Dr. Hanley was good enough to share his vast wisdom on cannabis with us Friday in the Irish Medical Times; check dude out:

Regular readers of this column will be unsurprised to learn that I have never had any time for marijuana. Like anyone who attended an Irish university in the last 40 years, I was aware during my college years of the existence of a few long-term cannabis users. I freely admit I regarded these people as a bunch of brain-dead, attention-seeking idiots suffering from a chronic aversion to personal hygiene.

Another interesting feature of the male section of this half-witted species was their apparent inability to use a razor on a regular basis.

In fact, I cannot recall ever meeting a clean-shaven pothead. This is an approach to grooming they appear to share with trade union officials and borderline communist politicians.

You might notice the distinct absence of facial hair in the good Dr. Hanley’s photo. No chance that guy smokes dope or is a Communist, no sir!

From whence does such bitterness come, you might ask? (Well, other than rank stupidity, of course.) Ah, wonder no more, the good Dr. Hanley reveals that to us in the very next paragraph:

To be fair, and with a few pathetic exceptions, I would say that medical students were among the least likely to regularly partake of illegal drugs while in third-level education.

For this reason, they were largely mocked by other, more ‘hip’ undergraduates as a bunch of boring nerds who were unwelcome in the various fashionable ‘societies’ where Celtic Tiger cubs went to play. No doubt the cool gang are still laughing from the higher moral ground of the dole queue today.

Ah, now it all becomes clear! Seems the young Dr.-Hanley-In-Training was laughed at as a nerd — and quite likely, never got any nookie — because of his goody-two-shoes attitudes towards cannabis!

cool beard

I don't know if this guy smoked marijuana, but based on that beard I'd say the odds are high - chanarchive.org

A revealing look, ladies and gentlemen, into the mind of a prohibitionist.

Dr. Hanley, the Irish Idiot, believes the only way to save us from this horrible drug, cannabis, is to “stop people from taking them in the first place.” Well, FUCK?! Why didn’t we already think of that?

This must be achieved by making young people recognize that those who use these products regularly are not admirable, they are instead typically dysfunctional underachievers, many of whom have nothing to look forward to except long-term unemployment and welfare dependency.

Regardless of left-wing political ideology and middle-class guilt, I believe the only hope for many young people is to ensure that drug use remains stigmatised and never legalized.

There is the level of mentation typical of our opposition. Is it any wonder that in the War On Cannabis, cannabis is winning?

Speaking of weed and beards, you might enjoy this Tumblr blog: Weed Beards celebrates and chronicles the practice of breaking up weed on people’s faces, making them a weed beard, then taking and posting a picture of the results.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Pete Guither over at Drug WarRant for bringing our attention to this story.

Article From Toke of the Town and republished with special permission.


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  1. That was excellent man :) , we need legalisation now more than ever. Perhaps if people weren’t so ignorant and stopped believing the bollocks the governments been feeding them they’d all be happier …


  2. Hey Chuck…… Just as well smoking is banned in enclosed spaces! Just stay in the pub and ye will be grand!…… Guinness is good for you! Or do you not drink? ……. Vomiting in the morning? Maybe the quality of cannabis poor or contaminated by dealers? People like you re-enforce the current status quo, ignorant (possibly well meaning men like you) forcing honest men like me to deal with dishonest men to obtain my herbs. A person of sound must be allowed to choose his own diet and medicine, the established propaganda media of the last century are alive and well today despite the coming of the Internet! you found this site…… What are you looking for? Did you mis-type “the sun” and end up here?

    You decide what goes into yr body and how you manage yr facial hair….. I will continue to break the “law” until it is changed.

    Keep yr own inventory, maybe spend less time judging others and eat some organic cannabis cookies…… ( cannabis is non toxic to mammals, my dog tries to steal mine!)You sound like you need something! Maybe take a laxative as a gateway drug, my diagnosis without proper medical is that you are full of shite!

    Tobacco and alcohol?

  3. Mullyguts Malone on

    Actually photo is not of the good doctor, just a happy hempy hippy. Doctor Hanley should give it a try if he wants to smile like the dude in the picture. ;o)

  4. I have never once gotten sick from smoking cannabis. There have been studies that show it cures nausea, and from personal experience it cures any form of nausea I have gotten since I began smoking it. I presume you want their weird music tastes outlawed as well. No we’re not all angels but someone who thinks they can tell people what they can do with their own bodies is the lowest of the low. Personally I hate the smell of garlic and the people in the apartment next to me use a lot of it when cooking, maybe we should ban garlic?
    I get high because I enjoy it and because I can sit down and reflect upon my life in a different manner. No prescriptive drug can do that for me, nor can talking to anyone I have to pay to listen to me. Why can’t people like you accept other people have different interests to yourself?

  5. What do you mean When Cannabis Came Along. Its been on this planet before we have. That alone sum’s up the answer that Cannabis is not man-made so Therefore its not a drug.

  6. What do you mean When Cannabis Came Along. Its been on this planet before we have. That alone some’s up the answer that Cannabis is not man-made so Therefore its not a drug.

  7. there is no benefit to smoking cannabis unless you are using it for palliative purposes or that your life is so sad that you need to get “high”. that is an opinion. i have lived near cannabis smokers. they were famous for stinking out the apartment block and listening to weird music at breakfast time. also they threw up a lot, really loudly. just saying. you are not all angels!

  8. @ Chuck-Oh yea and this whole quote “also cannabis smoke absolutely stinks and is very annoying.” Serious? What kind of arguement is that? Go to college guy. Get some classes on critical thinking and debate under your belt before you try debating your reefer madness aged propoganda with us. So I find loud motorcycles to be annoying, and you know what stinks? Sewage treatment facilities. We should just outlaw both right? Because they stink and theyre annoying. Forget about the benefits they bring. Get a brain moron before you debate with the big dogs.

  9. @ Chuck- Instead of just stating your opinion, why dont you actually come up with some scientific research that is unbiased to support your claims of prohibition, try actually citing your posts people tend to support scientific fact rather than joe schmoes uneducated post. I am so tired of uneducated people on this matter blindly supporting a side. Cannabis should be legal, if you think it shouldnt be,
    then by that same logic you should be for prohibition of alcohol. Freedom is a double edged sword my friend. If freedom scares you that much, then move to Saudi Arabia or China. Stop trying to take mine away you unpatriotic slave.

  10. i think the good dr hanley raises some very valid points in his opinion column.it is well known that smoking cannabis is the start of a slippery slope to serious addiction and desperation for many young people.also cannabis smoke absolutely stinks and is very annoying. of course there will always be cannabis smokers much like there will always be crack cocaine users – that does not mean cannabis should ever be legalised. otherwise, congrats on your website.

  11. It’s all true though isn’t it? No man ever grew a beard before cannabis came along, just look at history, not a single beard on any man pre 1967. Same as sex, that never happened before the 60’s either. No, the world would be a lot better had it stayed in black and white like it used to be and drugs had never been invented.


    Actually, another idiot Doctor – Dr Ian Oliver, who actually had a doctorate in Public Adinistration and used to be a senior plod before he got the sack – once claimed that cannabis made men develop female tendencies.

    You couldn’t make any of this up…

  12. I would like to say to Dr. hanley, me and some mates smoke cannabis we have jobs, been in my job now for 3 and a half years, and just to let you know ive never robbed for the money to get my smoke and never gave anyone abuse for knowing more than i do about something. o and ye i dont shave my beard because i like it… peace

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